


threats

by neopuff



Series: White Gloves and Gun Holsters [5]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 00:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neopuff/pseuds/neopuff
Summary: Havoc turned his head towards his superior officer, a confused look on his face. “Huh?” Though they were at the bar together, they hadn’t been talking much, and that statement seemingly came out of nowhere. “Five years since what?”Roy chuckled and stared down into his glass. “Since Hughes threatened me.”





	threats

“I can’t believe it’s been five years already.”

Havoc turned his head towards his superior officer, a confused look on his face. “Huh?” Though they were at the bar together, they hadn’t been talking much, and that statement seemingly came out of nowhere. “Five years since what?”

Roy chuckled and stared down into his glass. “Since Hughes threatened me.”

Havoc felt like that just gave him more questions rather than answering the one he asked. Was the Brigadier General going to be weirdly vague all night, or was he just building up to something? “Uh huh…”

“He said…” Roy took a sip of his drink. “…that if I didn’t have at least a serious girlfriend five years from then, he’d stop being polite about my relationship with Hawkeye.”

Ah. Of _course_. “I don’t remember him ever being particularly subtle about you two, Mustang.”

Roy didn’t look at Havoc still. “Even in mixed company, he was never very polite about it. I always worried it made her uncomfortable.”

“I’m sure she would’ve said something,” Havoc shrugged. “You’re just overthinking it.”

“Mm,” Roy mumbled. “Y'know...I didn’t expect them to get along. The first time we all hung out.”

Havoc took a swig of his beer. Sometimes he forgot that Roy got all sad and nostalgic when he drank. “Hughes was hard not to get along with. Annoying as he was, it was nice to talk to him.”

He chuckled again. “I know. He always seemed to pull Hawkeye out of her comfort zone…I think about trying that sometimes, just to see what happens, but…” He shrugged.

Havoc raised an eyebrow and put his beer down. “Worried you’ll get too comfortable?”

Roy took another sip. “…I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Well…” Havoc smirked and nudged his old commanding officer’s arm. “Since Hughes isn’t around anymore, I guess it’ll be my job, then!”

“What?” Roy looked up at him.

“When are you and Hawkeye getting married, Mustang?”

“…what.” Roy frowned.

“As Brigadier General Hughes would’ve said, you two are obviously in love! So when’s the wedding?” Havoc had to hold back his laughter at the face Roy was making.

“This wasn’t a _request_ , Havoc _._ I was just being nostalgic!” Roy sneered and tried not to get embarrassed.

“I’m thinking a Spring wedding,” Havoc smiled even bigger. “My shop can provide _all_ the flowers you’ll need! And can you just imagine Hawkeye in her dress? _Beautiful_!”

“Will you cut it out-“

“I’ve always been a bigger fan of Winter weddings, actually.”

Roy and Havoc both turned around to face the woman of the hour – her eyebrow raised and a small smirk on her face. She even huffed out a small laugh when she saw the blush on her superior officer’s cheeks.

“I think when Hawkeye takes a joke better than you, we know it’s time to cut you off,” Havoc laughed and grabbed the glass out of Roy’s hands – gulping down what was left.

He frowned and looked back and forth between his now-empty hand and his Lieutenant. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you, too, Sir,” she replied with an eyeroll. “Fuhrer Grumman wanted you to sign some urgent paperwork…but now that I see you’re inebriated, I suppose it’ll have to wait until tomorrow anyway.”

“I’m not-!” Roy tried to stand up, faltering a bit and frowning at himself for trying to stand for the first time since he’d arrived. “…what’s so urgent about it?”

Havoc watched this exchange while leaning his chin into his palm. These two were always entertaining  to watch.

“It’s not really urgent, actually,” Riza sighed. “The Fuhrer was just excited and insisted we treat it like it is.”

Roy crossed his arms. “Well, what is it?”

She handed him the manila envelope that was previously under her arm. “Just the last few papers that need to be signed before I’m promoted to Captain, Sir.”

Both men blinked in shock and were completely silent for a few moments. Hawkeye mentally sighed, preparing herself for what was coming. Three…two…one…

“Ahhhh!!! Congratulations, _Captain_ Hawkeye!” Havoc shouted, smacking her in the shoulder and earning himself a pointed glare. Not that he cared, but still.

“Lieu-! Er, _Captain_! How could you consider that non-urgent?” Roy smiled brightly. “I’ll go splash some water on my face and sober up so we can get this all signed! Havoc – order me some water!”

“Yes, Sir!” Havoc saluted as Roy got up and wobbled to the bathroom.

“General, this is completely unnecessary-“ Hawkeye tried to say, but he was already on this new mission. She sighed again. “I knew I should’ve just waited until tomorrow.”

She looked around the bar while Havoc was busy with the bartender – it was almost completely empty, which was reasonable for a Wednesday night. Normally she’d berate her superior officer for getting drunk on a work night, but by his sour mood earlier, she assumed this day held some significance for him – most likely regarding Brigadier General Hughes. She didn’t press him on it, though part of her hoped he’d tell her.

When she turned back around, Havoc was smiling at her.

“…what?”

“A Winter wedding? Really?” He had to hold back laughter.

Hawkeye rolled her eyes. “I know you don’t think I’m capable – but that was a _joke._ ”

He feigned shock, putting a hand to his heart. “ _What?_! You can’t just get my hopes up like that, Captain!”

“Are you channeling Hughes, now?” She put a hand on her hip. When Hughes had acted like this, it was endearing. When Havoc did it, it reminded her of Rebecca.

“You bet!” Havoc gave her a big, toothy smile. “Prepare for lots of kissy noises whenever you’re on the phone with him!”

She was tempted to tell him off, that he was being inappropriate and could harm the General’s reputation, but the fact that Roy hadn’t returned from the bathroom yet was bothering her more than that. She glanced to the bathroom. “What’s the chance he’s drowning in the sink right now?”

“Pretty good, I’d say.”

She plopped the envelope down on the bar and headed towards the bathroom – not really caring that it was the men’s room. If Mustang said he was getting ready to leave, he’d better be getting ready to leave, not sleeping in the sink. And based on her previous experiences with a drunk Roy Mustang – he always got sad, nostalgic, and sleepy when he drank too much.

As she walked away, Havoc watched her and started laughing to himself. Maybe Roy didn’t _technically_ have a “serious girlfriend” yet, but he had about as close as you could get. A little Hughes-style push might be all they needed to seal the deal.

**Author's Note:**

> Just another lil oneshot. I started with the idea of Hughes' giving Roy a five year ultimatum, and then kind of worked from there. I really didn't know where to go with it for a while LMAO


End file.
